Don't Tempt Me, Richard Thompson

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That gorilla you're dancing with

May not have too long to live

He's putting his hands in the wrong places

Time to rearrange his face

He's gonna dance with me instead

I'm gonna tap dance on his head

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Don't tempt me
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Don't tempt me
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Don't tempt me
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I'm half-way out of my seat

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He's got the looks, he's got the lolly
Driving me clean off my trolley
Doing the jitterbug, doing the jive
Doing the shimmy, snakes alive
That's not a dance, that's S-E-X
Ban that couple, certificate X!

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Don't tempt me
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Don't tempt me
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Don't tempt me
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I'm half-way out of my seat

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Ooh I'm a patient man
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Ooh But its out of hand
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If there's one thing I can't stand

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Get yer mittens off my gal
Or you'll end up as mincemeat pal
I've got friends, mean sons
They've got knives, chains, guns
Gas, grenades, knuckle-dusters,
Lazy Susans, Blockbusters

Guitar Solo
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I'm sitting here, calm as I can
While you polish the floor with another man
I'm not mad, I'm a cuddly toy
Just keep me away from laughing boy
You say he's a relative, some hope
If he's your uncle, I'm the Pope!