Peanut Butter Conspiracy
By: Jimmy Buffett
1973

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Looking back at my hard luck days
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I really do have to laugh
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Working in a dive for twenty six dollars
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Spending it all on grass

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We were hungry hard luck heros
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Trying just to stay alive
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We'd go down to the corner drug
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This is how we'd survive

Chorus:
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Who's going to steal the peanut butter?
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I'll get a can of sardines
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Running up and down the aisle of the mini mart
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Sticking food in our jeans
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We never took more than we could eat
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There was plenty left on the rack
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We all swore if we ever got rich
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We would pay the mini mart back
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Yes sir!  Yes sir!
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We would pay the mini mart back

It was a two man operation
Had it all down on a note
Ricky would watch that big round mirror
And I'd fill up my coat

Then we'd head for the checkout aisle
With a lemon and a bottle of beer
Into to the car, got to make it on home
Supper time's gettin' near

(Repeat chorus)

I guess every good picker has had some hard times
I sure had my share
It's really kind of funny to laugh at it now
But I don't want to go back there

So every now and then when I'm in the grocery
I take a little but not much
You never know when those hard times will hit you
And I don't want to lose my touch

(Repeat chorus)