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Philosopher's Song
-by Monty Python

DD Piano Chord 

Immanuel Kant was a real piss-ant
AA Piano Chord 

Who was very rarely stable
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
DD Piano Chord 

Who could think you under the table
David Hume could out-consume
GG Piano Chord 

Whilhelm Friedrich Hegel
AA Piano Chord 

And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
DD Piano Chord 

Who was just as sloshed as Schlagel
AA Piano Chord 

There's nothin' Nieizsche couldn't teach ya
'Bout the raising of the wrist
DD Piano Chord 
        B7B7 Piano Chord 
          E7E7 Piano Chord 

Socrates himself was permanently pissed

John Stuart Mill of his own free will
After half a pint o' shanty became particularly ill
Plato they say, could stick it away
Half a crate of whiskey every day
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle
Hobbes was fond of his dram
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart
`I drink therefore I am'

But Socrates himself is particularly missed
A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed